July 17, 2010

Finally.

You guys wanted a post. Here's a post.


Kelsey. There's a lot of things I need to get off my chest. Because I know if I don't soon I'm going to be afraid for the rest of my life. Everyday that goes by I realize more and more that you and I were supposed to be. There's things that you see in me that no one has, and will ever see in me. You see past the things that don't make me who I am, and only see me. You love everything about me and it surprises me each and every time you tell me. You make me feel like I'm the most amazing person on the planet. Despite my lack of confidence, and respect for myself. I know that I see things in you that you don't and how I wish that you saw them. You're the strongest person I've ever known. To go through life having nearly died twice in a span of two years is incredible. I've had to deal with some fucked up things but nothing like what you have. I admire you. I look up to you for things that I don't believe I have. You may be young but you're definetly not young. You have the mind, and the strength of an adult. It almost brings me to tears because I'm so proud of how far you've come from when we saw each other again. We had some rough patches because of what happened but we've over come them and we've never been stronger.

I remember the first day we met. I know you remember more than me but the first thing I noticed was your Yellow Shoes and how they matched your beautiful blonde hair. Then there it was. The one thing that drew me to you. The one thing that until I die I will cherish. Your smile. When you have your shit grin on I can't helpl but feel warm and happy. You have the biggest smile I've ever seen on anyone and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Your smile makes everything that's bad in my life just float away. That whole day that's all I wanted to see was your smile. Hence why I cracked so many stupid jokes, tickled you, and teased you. I just wanted to see those pearly whites. That's a day I will never forget. I'm sorry for not talking to you after that day. We both know that there wasn't anything that I could do.

I learnt a lot of things in those 3 years I was without you. I learnt how someone you thought you loved, and loved you could turn their back and treat you like a piece of trash. I learnt that there are better people out there. I learnt not to let fucking stupid closed minded fucks control me and the way I live my life. With all those bad things that have happened to me I've become a better person be able to treat you right. To make everyday you're with me the best day of your life. I'm not going to lie, there are some things I've done while we've been dating that I regret, but just know I never meant to hurt you and after it all I was wrong anyways.

Kelsey.
One our year, there's something I'm going to ask you. I have it all planned out.
Every little detail because it's going to be the most amazing night of our lives.
I'm hoping it all goes to plan, and if it doesn't well that's fine.
I know that you love me and it may just have to take a little bit of time.
I want a beautiful baby girl with you. I want her to have your beautiful smile.
Your eyes and my button nose. She's going to be so beautiful.
She'll have my personality. She'll get all the boys like her mama did.
I love you Kelsey. Until the day I die. I'm yours.